The Escapades...Part 1:

Sooo...you'd think I would be posting about a new city, new house, the Christmas season, or at least a late update on Halloween or Thanksgiving, right? However, I did warn you that I was terribly random in that first blog entry, so just thought I'd live up to that reputation. If you know us well, then you've probably heard about the following escapades or read them on facebook; otherwise, here are some additional explanations as to why we are, indeed, "The Crazy Crew." Hope you enjoy some chuckles :)

The Store Chronicles
We are legendary...scary...OK, downright over the top ridiculous on most of our store outings. Our children behave beautifully 99.9% of the time when we go to a restaurant, but for some reason, they turn into a total freak show as soon as we cross a store's threshold (mostly Costco & Target...because you can usually find us at, well, Costco or Target). We've been laughed at, fussed at, told I deserve a medal, asked why I'm torturing myself, praised for patience, ridiculed for having my little ones out during nap time or in the rain, asked if I'm taking them all back (while in the customer service line)...you name it. On the rare occasion that I've made a solo trip, I've even had multiple Costco employees recognize me and ask, "Where are the kids?"  But whatever you do, PLEASE do NOT say to me (as one or all 4 of the kids are having meltdowns), "Someone's not happy." REALLY?!?!? Ya don't say? It's about like telling a pregnant woman, "Someone's expecting." But then that's a whole other blog. The following are some of my favorite store adventures:

Language Lesson: When our oldest was probably around 18 months old, we were in Target for a "quick" trip, so I let her walk (which usually doesn't happen until my kids are like 5...I believe in "cart trapping" them). A lady was talking LOUDLY on her cell phone in another language (can't remember exactly what language, but we lived in Northern VA, so just take your pick...anything other than English). I was looking through some clearance clothes when I noticed Anna had slipped away and stopped right in front of the loud foreign language lady, blocking her path. When the lady stopped her conversation and looked down to smile at Anna, my little firecracker started "mumbo jumbo talking" in the lady's face (like she was mocking her in a pretend language...LOUDLY). I'm pretty sure I ducked under a rack of clothes and secretly yanked my daughter out of the aisle and hid until the lady left.

Boo-Boo Head: One sleep deprived morning soon after having our son, we were attempting a trip to Target...newborn baby fussing in his car seat in the back of the cart & 2 yr old girl sitting in front chatting, singing, yelling non-stop (as she has done since the day she was born). About 5 minutes and 5 aisles AFTER a stop in the lingerie aisle, I realize what the 2 yr old is chanting: "I'm a Boo-Boo Head, I'm wearing Momma's Boo-Boos on my head...Boo-Boos on my head!" Yep...kid was wearing 2 newly picked out bras on her head and making sure everyone knew...and I had been oblivious. No wonder everyone we passed that morning seemed especially friendly and smiley :)

The receipt mouth: After one very exhausting Costco trip that ended in an even more trying bathroom break/stinky diaper change, I started looking frantically for the receipt for the person at the exit door to check. I found it...in our 2 yr old's giggling mouth. I dug it out and warned the lady at the door that it was a little crumpled and damp. She didn't seem amused.

Potty Break Birth Planning: Speaking of bathrooms...I just can't wait to share with our youngest child that the day & details of her birth were determined...in the Costco bathroom. True story. Our OB called me to see if I'd like to come in the next day to be induced...and I was in the bathroom helping the 3 yr old take care of business (as well as my own, because we all know a lady 9 months pregnant with her 4th child can't "hold it.") I've often wondered what other customers in the bathroom thought as they heard my nonchalant birthing conversation over the tinkling, flushing and other potty time noises...

The Scream: Provoking chaos is not limited to the little ones in our house. When I was pregnant with Evie (#3...who weighed 10 lb 3 oz at birth), I was a little, well, deformed looking. My belly stretched on FOREVER (see above mentioned birth weight for explanation). One day while shopping at Target with Anna & Joey in the cart, I stopped and turned to look at something on a shelf...and nearly jumped completely out of my skin and into labor...thanks to the SHRILL scream of a lady behind me, followed by, "OH, HONEY!!! I'm SO very sorry!! I was following you down the aisle noticing your cute kids, and then you turned sideways and it just FREAKED ME OUT! I didn't know you were pregnant! I've never seen anything like that before!" Sort of a compliment...I guess?!?!?

Of course, there are many more wonderful stories, but you get the picture...basically, we are a "walking billboard for birth control." And most people agree with me when I give them that description. You should see the looks of despair on first time pregnant women's faces when we pass by. I also have grand plans for a teen abstinence program: parents send us their teenagers and we assign them to help families with small children in grocery stores...it's a win/win situation: moms get help with the kids, and teens remain abstinent out of the God-given fear of the consequences.

Stay tuned for The Escapades Part 2 for more "better you than me" laughable moments, courtesy of our blessed little Crazy Crew...

GOOD GOLLY, SWEET LITTLE MISS MOLLIE...1 year old ALREADY!!

Soooo...she did it, too! Just like those other little Wild Wells kids...she turned ONE last Sunday. And yes...I became "one of those" moms. I cried. (I just keep living out all these silly momma cliches :). In honor of our sweet #4, here's a story about her first year or so...

Dear Mollie,

I vividly remember that talk with God on a cold February morning run. I was in tears and totally surrendering my will over to Him. For some crazy reason that I cannot explain, I had wanted a 4th baby so bad, but finally accepted that if it was God's plan for us to hold still as a family of 5, then we were perfect the way we were. Your daddy had a little health scare just a couple months earlier, and we had been blessed with 3 perfectly healthy little ones...why press our luck? Our lives were challenging enough in crazy Northern Virginia with your daddy's work schedule, right? So after that prayer, I still felt like a little something was missing, but I was at complete peace and started sorting through baby clothes & paraphenalia to prep them for donations.

A couple weeks later...the day after Evie's 1st birthday...BOOM! I knew it!! I had a feeling...a feeling of shock...I'll never forget your daddy's face when I told him what I suspected. We honestly couldn't figure out how (OK...so we know HOW, but can't figure out...well, nevermind!!) The first 2 tests said negative, but I knew they were wrong (occasionally, I'm right about a few things...remember that when you're a teenager!)

A NOVEMBER BABY??? How does that work? Your 3 siblings were all born in March! Chaos is the norm for our crew, so it should be no surprise that the day of your delivery was decided a mere 24 hrs in advance on the phone with our doc...while in the Costco bathroom :). We wanted to be sure Dr. Forrest would be able to deliver you (just like our other 3 babies), and no one wanted me having a "Beltway Baby" on 495...so we decided you would come a week early...plus, everyone expected you to be huge like your siblings! Surprise again! We were actually capable of producing a "normal" size newborn...only 7 lb. 9 oz. (unlike your siblings who were 8 1/2, 9, & 10+ lbs!). From the beginning, you have looked exactly like your big bro, and your personality is a mix of both big sisters...yet you continue to surprise us in ways the other 3 never did! :)

Our lives have been a little crazy the last 12 months...appropriately, you were born just before Thanksgiving, blessing our family with 4 children in 5.5 years (the day we came home from the hospital, we went to big sis Anna's Kindergarten music program); we immediately slammed into the mad dash of the Christmas season shopping, partying, decorating, etc.; we made our regular (little did we know our FINAL) Holiday trip home to KY...10 days, 30+ hrs of driving, 8 family/friend gatherings...and you were 6 wks old; we returned to VA on Jan 2nd, and your daddy left on Jan 4th for a 2 month TDY to Saudi Arabia. Our church friends loved on and supported us like family (as always) in his absence, and God returned him safely to us the day before Evie's 2nd bday to begin our March Madness of 4 family bdays that month. You never missed a beat, smiling & laughing at him like he'd never left! You were quite a trooper tagging along with me to work meetings and the office (until you were big enough to hang out at Mrs. Christine's with the big kids :). Our spring & summer were filled with the regular busy fun...until August when we got the official word that we'd be moving back to KY, so the next 2 months were packed with getting the house on the market and searching for a new house in KY (another 10 day trip with you hanging in there for visits to about 30 potential homes). We enjoyed several final gatherings with friends as dear as family...and before you even hit 11 months, we were on our way to a new-to-you state and lived in a hotel for 2.5 weeks before moving into our new home! What a year!! :) And although you're our "final"...you got to experience a "first": the first of our kids with a family birthday party (for more than just the grandmas)! You may not have been too thrilled with the cake (you CRIED when you got some on your fingers), but we had so much fun watching your cousins play and spending time with extended family...something we will never again take for granted!

God knew we needed a surprise blessing far more than we did...your sweet, sassy spirit keeps us on our toes, and while the tears keep falling when I think of our baby growing up, I just can't wait to see how you will surprise us next. May our Father make His path clear to you and show us how to encourage you along the way!

Smooches, Snuggles, and Giggles,
Momma

Some shots of your special day...

You said this birthday stuff was supposed to be FUN!!!



My favorite...she quit crying as soon as big bro stepped over & sang to her :)







See...I can smile...just get that cake away from me! (seriously? maybe she WAS switched at birth?)

Takin' the Plunge...Booty First!

Soooo...after "writing" posts in my head for over 3 years (usually on long runs or long drives when the kids are in a movie indused coma moment), I'm FINALLY takin' the plunge into the blog pool!

But I wouldn't say I'm jumping in feet first...because that would imply I have an ultimate goal and a precise action plan. The only two things I've ever been THAT determined and persistent about are training for races and childbirth...but I guess #2 shouldn't really count...I mean, the finish line was coming no matter what I did, right?

And I also wouldn't say this is a head first plunge...because that would indicate I've thought through this whole process and organized all the details. Go ahead...if you know me, you're laughing uncontrollably about now!

But booty-first? Oh yeah, that's totally me! I'm a complete klutz and fall constantly...both literally (seriously, you should see my bruises) AND figuratively (as a Christian, wife, mom, friend, etc.). Fortunately, God is bigger than all my epic fails, and He forgives me and picks me up over and over and over again! And despite being a "mutt" of feet-first, head-first experiences (meaning that I actually do plan out some things and race toward most goals with at least a loose plan), many people would probably describe me as a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal. Again, that's mostly because I spend so much time falling, and sometimes God has to drag me along an unconventional route to get me back up on my feet following His plan.

And so, we begin this booty-first cannonball splash: Our Crazy Crew...just the 6 of us keepin' it real...really crazy...and trusting God to help us laugh through our mundane and chaotic lives! Nothing fancy...nothing earth shattering...maybe a whole lot of nothing...but it's our crazy nothing, and we're pretty happy with that! :)

Special note: don't ya love the pics of our little wild ones? Special thanks & kudos to Desi Welch (DesireeAngelle Photography) for capturing those cutie-patooties...especially since I never seem to have my camera when I need it...or working batteries...or enough bribes to get them through a whole photo opp.